Comments on: Letting Go http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63 Tue, 31 Aug 2010 11:44:31 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Debra http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-85 Debra Sun, 27 Dec 2009 17:21:41 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-85 Hi Hellen, so much of organising seems to be about clutter and purging it. That does indeed feel great. I've a bit of a different problem--living in a truly tiny European flat and I seem to use everything I've got but need practical solutions for where to put things. I grew up in a very large and very uncluttered house and was taught the mantra "a place for everything and everything in its place". But what to do when there's not a place for everything? At this point moving's not an option. Hi Hellen,

so much of organising seems to be about clutter and purging it. That does indeed feel great. I’ve a bit of a different problem–living in a truly tiny European flat and I seem to use everything I’ve got but need practical solutions for where to put things. I grew up in a very large and very uncluttered house and was taught the mantra “a place for everything and everything in its place”. But what to do when there’s not a place for everything? At this point moving’s not an option.

]]> By: jennifer http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-55 jennifer Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:04:53 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-55 Re: the wedding dress One of my friends loved her wedding dress so much she took it out of the box and found a mannequin type of stand to put the dress on. She kept it in her bedroom. She liked to see it out of the box. I had a hard time getting rid of my son's crib and baby items (he was 12 by that point!) until I finally realized that I wouldn't be getting rid of him by getting rid of the stuff he had used. I also came to understand that getting rid of the baby stuff didn't mean I would never have another baby-and if I did eventually have another baby I would be able to reacquire furniture and clothes for him/her. What we tell ourselves about our stuff really influences our ability to let go! Re: the wedding dress

One of my friends loved her wedding dress so much she took it out of the box and found a mannequin type of stand to put the dress on. She kept it in her bedroom. She liked to see it out of the box.

I had a hard time getting rid of my son’s crib and baby items (he was 12 by that point!) until I finally realized that I wouldn’t be getting rid of him by getting rid of the stuff he had used. I also came to understand that getting rid of the baby stuff didn’t mean I would never have another baby-and if I did eventually have another baby I would be able to reacquire furniture and clothes for him/her.

What we tell ourselves about our stuff really influences our ability to let go!

]]> By: Diana http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-30 Diana Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:53:10 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-30 Thank you, Hellen, for your kind words about my wedding dress. The more I think about it and the more I clear out other parts of my home, the greater my feeling that the time has come to bid it adieu. This surprises me, but also feels good. You said something about it providing me with a sense of security. I'm not sure that it true. But I do believe I was thinking that letting go of it was somehow disloyal to our marriage. So, now, before I make my final decision, I'm going to run the idea past my husband. I can almost predict that he will be fine either way, but he gets a vote! Thank you again! Thank you, Hellen, for your kind words about my wedding dress. The more I think about it and the more I clear out other parts of my home, the greater my feeling that the time has come to bid it adieu. This surprises me, but also feels good. You said something about it providing me with a sense of security. I’m not sure that it true. But I do believe I was thinking that letting go of it was somehow disloyal to our marriage. So, now, before I make my final decision, I’m going to run the idea past my husband. I can almost predict that he will be fine either way, but he gets a vote! Thank you again!

]]> By: Your Organizing Business » Blog Archive » Professional Organizers Blog Carnival – November 2009 Edition http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-28 Your Organizing Business » Blog Archive » Professional Organizers Blog Carnival – November 2009 Edition Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:08:53 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-28 [...] Hellen Buttigieg explores the psychological benefits of decluttering in her post, Letting Go. [...] [...] Hellen Buttigieg explores the psychological benefits of decluttering in her post, Letting Go. [...]

]]> By: Hellen http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-27 Hellen Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:29:48 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-27 This is a common dilemma so you are not alone Diana. If I had no heart I would say get rid of it, you have no use for it and it's just taking up space. But it's obvious from your note that it makes you feel good to look at it and have it in your home. So if you have the space for it in your new home, I don't see that there would be any damage caused if you bring it along. My sense is that keeping it gives you a feeling of security in your marriage. Now, if this was from a previous marriage and brought up bad memories, my response would be very different. I know a lot of professional organizers might disagree with my advice. But my definition of clutter is anything that you do not love or use...and you clearly love this dress. The ultimate decision is yours to make but if you are looking for my permission, it is granted! This is a common dilemma so you are not alone Diana. If I had no heart I would say get rid of it, you have no use for it and it’s just taking up space. But it’s obvious from your note that it makes you feel good to look at it and have it in your home. So if you have the space for it in your new home, I don’t see that there would be any damage caused if you bring it along. My sense is that keeping it gives you a feeling of security in your marriage.

Now, if this was from a previous marriage and brought up bad memories, my response would be very different.

I know a lot of professional organizers might disagree with my advice. But my definition of clutter is anything that you do not love or use…and you clearly love this dress. The ultimate decision is yours to make but if you are looking for my permission, it is granted!

]]> By: Diana http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-26 Diana Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:01:33 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-26 My husband and I are preparing for a move to a new state. I am welcoming this opportunity to go though our house from one end to the other (very linear house!) and clear out closets, drawers and cupboards. It is liberating! However, I have one stumbling block: my 23 year-old wedding dress. The thought of getting rid of it makes me cry. I feel blessed in my marriage every day (well, almost every day!), so the dress is full of the positive energy from our wedding day. We do not have children, and my nieces will not have a need for it. It was professionally boxed after the wedding to preserve it, so I don't have to find hanging room for it. So, I'm stuck. I'd appreciate any advice about how to proceed. My husband and I are preparing for a move to a new state. I am welcoming this opportunity to go though our house from one end to the other (very linear house!) and clear out closets, drawers and cupboards. It is liberating! However, I have one stumbling block: my 23 year-old wedding dress. The thought of getting rid of it makes me cry. I feel blessed in my marriage every day (well, almost every day!), so the dress is full of the positive energy from our wedding day. We do not have children, and my nieces will not have a need for it. It was professionally boxed after the wedding to preserve it, so I don’t have to find hanging room for it. So, I’m stuck. I’d appreciate any advice about how to proceed.

]]> By: Janet Barclay http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-25 Janet Barclay Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:54:49 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-25 I think money can be the reason many of us hold onto things we don't need or want anymore, sometimes for the reasons mentioned above (i.e., I might be able to get something for it) but sometimes because we just feel bad about getting rid of something we've spent good money on. Maybe it's an expensive outfit that just isn't comfortable, so you never wear it, but you feel guilty about buying it so you keep it. Then, every time you see it in the closet, you feel guilty all over again. When you accept that the money has been spent, whether you keep the item or not, you give yourself permission to "let it go" and you automatically feel better! Great post, Hellen! I think money can be the reason many of us hold onto things we don’t need or want anymore, sometimes for the reasons mentioned above (i.e., I might be able to get something for it) but sometimes because we just feel bad about getting rid of something we’ve spent good money on. Maybe it’s an expensive outfit that just isn’t comfortable, so you never wear it, but you feel guilty about buying it so you keep it. Then, every time you see it in the closet, you feel guilty all over again. When you accept that the money has been spent, whether you keep the item or not, you give yourself permission to “let it go” and you automatically feel better!

Great post, Hellen!

]]> By: Hellen http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-24 Hellen Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:22:13 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-24 Natalie, you have given some great advice in suggesting we give ourselves a deadline to sell the items we don't want anymore and, if we haven't sold them by then, to just donate them. Putting the deadline in our calendars, perhaps with a reminder a week before, will hold us accountable. Natalie, you have given some great advice in suggesting we give ourselves a deadline to sell the items we don’t want anymore and, if we haven’t sold them by then, to just donate them. Putting the deadline in our calendars, perhaps with a reminder a week before, will hold us accountable.

]]> By: Natalie http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-23 Natalie Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:13:41 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-23 While I was on maternity leave I was able to find the time to get rid of some things online by undercutting the "regular" asking rate by a few bucks and getting stuff out of my house more quickly. Oh, and I used my PVR to pick up your show & similar ones for inspiration. Kids seem to add greatly to the amount of stuff that's weighing me down, especially plastic stuff. That said, I have a few boxes of things that I've gathered since then that might be worth selling. I have just put a sell reminder in my calendar, and if it's not gone by then it's off to be donated. While I was on maternity leave I was able to find the time to get rid of some things online by undercutting the “regular” asking rate by a few bucks and getting stuff out of my house more quickly. Oh, and I used my PVR to pick up your show & similar ones for inspiration. Kids seem to add greatly to the amount of stuff that’s weighing me down, especially plastic stuff.

That said, I have a few boxes of things that I’ve gathered since then that might be worth selling. I have just put a sell reminder in my calendar, and if it’s not gone by then it’s off to be donated.

]]> By: Jill http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63&cpage=1#comment-22 Jill Wed, 04 Nov 2009 06:15:07 +0000 http://weorganizeu.com/blog/?p=63#comment-22 I believe I am the "dear friend" Carol is referring to. I am a neat/clean freak in many ways, love to see everything perfectly organized, am attracted to all kinds of organizing methods, supplies, etc. -- yet I have lots of stuff and lots of clutter! While I enjoy having a lot of things, collections, hobbies, etc. I don't like the perpetual feeling of needing to "go through things", purge, file, organize closets, rooms, etc...and yes get rid of some things! I feel like I could spend the rest of my life trying to de-clutter and organize each room the way I would like it, and I would never finish! When I am at work 40-50 hrs per week, and everything else I need or want to do, I never seem to be able to find the time, when I do take an hour or a day or two days, on an organizing task or project it feels like a drop in the bucket. and it's hard to even know where to start. I think my friend has somewhat misunderstood the "money aspect" of my holding onto things. I have a lot of different reasons for holding onto different things - sentimentality is a big one and if something was a gift from someone I love, whether it be clothes, decorative item, or a popcorn popper I generally have trouble donating or selling it. I also sometimes have the feeling I might be able to use an item down the road, or that I have spent too much money on something to just blindly give it away. IF I can find a true home for these items (even sentimental ones if in my family) I don't mind giving them away and do. The money aspect and selling dilemma is only there when I feel bad about the money I spent on something I didn't really wear or use and I don't personally know someone that could use and enjoy it. I feel like if I can get something for it, I can let it go and feel okay. However, the clothes I got for a good price, then wore and got some good out of and no longer fit or I am tired of, I can put in a bag and give to charity. So, it's not really about the money for me....its much more complex. I would like to hear you talk more about these things I struggle with. I believe I am the “dear friend” Carol is referring to. I am a neat/clean freak in many ways, love to see everything perfectly organized, am attracted to all kinds of organizing methods, supplies, etc. — yet I have lots of stuff and lots of clutter! While I enjoy having a lot of things, collections, hobbies, etc. I don’t like the perpetual feeling of needing to “go through things”, purge, file, organize closets, rooms, etc…and yes get rid of some things! I feel like I could spend the rest of my life trying to de-clutter and organize each room the way I would like it, and I would never finish! When I am at work 40-50 hrs per week, and everything else I need or want to do, I never seem to be able to find the time, when I do take an hour or a day or two days, on an organizing task or project it feels like a drop in the bucket. and it’s hard to even know where to start.

I think my friend has somewhat misunderstood the “money aspect” of my holding onto things. I have a lot of different reasons for holding onto different things – sentimentality is a big one and if something was a gift from someone I love, whether it be clothes, decorative item, or a popcorn popper I generally have trouble donating or selling it. I also sometimes have the feeling I might be able to use an item down the road, or that I have spent too much money on something to just blindly give it away. IF I can find a true home for these items (even sentimental ones if in my family) I don’t mind giving them away and do. The money aspect and selling dilemma is only there when I feel bad about the money I spent on something I didn’t really wear or use and I don’t personally know someone that could use and enjoy it. I feel like if I can get something for it, I can let it go and feel okay. However, the clothes I got for a good price, then wore and got some good out of and no longer fit or I am tired of, I can put in a bag and give to charity. So, it’s not really about the money for me….its much more complex. I would like to hear you talk more about these things I struggle with.

]]>